Forgiveness is perhaps the most misunderstood concept in personal growth. We often think it means saying “what you did was okay” or “we are going to be friends now.”
But in reality, forgiveness has almost nothing to do with the other person.
Imagine you are trying to sail a boat toward a beautiful new horizon (your future, your goals, your peace). But no matter how much you pull the sails or how hard the wind blows, the boat won’t move. Why? Because underneath the water, there is a massive, rusted anchor hooked into the seabed.
That anchor is your resentment.
Every time you replay the hurt, every time you wait for an apology that may never come, you are choosing to stay anchored to the very person or event that hurt you. Forgiveness is simply the act of reaching down and cutting the rope.
You aren’t saying the anchor was “right” to be there. You are just deciding that you’re tired of being stuck in the same harbor.
As a coach, I remind my clients that you don’t have to feel like forgiving to start the process. It’s an “Art”—which means it takes practice. It’s a decision you make every morning until, one day, you realize the rope is finally gone and you’ve drifted miles away from the pain.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” — Lewis B. Smedes
